# Jiminy Cricket, you do NOT know how to drive a stick!



## Rob325_in_AZ (Oct 22, 2004)

atyclb said:


> I'm pretty sure jesus could drive a stick


Yeah, but could he figure out iDrive?


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## 01Byte (Jun 22, 2003)

Rob325_in_AZ said:


> Yeah, but could he figure out iDrive?


I don't know about figuring it out... but maybe he could "save" it.. :dunno:


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## Rob325_in_AZ (Oct 22, 2004)

Arkady said:


> I don't know about figuring it out... but maybe he could "save" it.. :dunno:


:rofl: :thumbup:


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## mullman (Jan 5, 2006)

Why don't people say

Mohammed, you do NOT know how to drive a stick!

or

Confucious, you do NOT know how to drive a stick!

or

Budda, you do NOT know how to drive a stick!

I consider myself a Christian, BTW, but am not really offened by your speech, it is your decision to speak as such.
Just wonder why everyone is always picking on "my guy"... And I can already see the terrorists rising up if we used Mohammed's name as such.
He was a charictiture in a Danish newspaper and they freaked out.


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## Salvator (Oct 14, 2003)

mullman said:


> Why don't people say
> 
> Mohammed, you do NOT know how to drive a stick!
> 
> ...


Personally, I will attempt to use "Jumpin' Jehosaphat" in future exclamations, to avoid causing such a furor! :rofl:

Example:



> Jumpin' Jehosaphat! Can you use your turn indicator next time!


:angel:


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## samplemaven (Jul 3, 2006)

I'm not certain, but I don't know if there is anything in the Bible that specifically mentions Jehosaphat actually jumping! However, I agree with Mullman and others that another choice of expletives is desirable.


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## Salvator (Oct 14, 2003)

samplemaven said:


> I'm not certain, but I don't know if there is anything in the Bible that specifically mentions Jehosaphat actually jumping! However, I agree with Mullman and others that another choice of expletives is desirable.


I just figured if it was a term that Looney Tunes could use (specifically, Yosemite Sam) then it's probably safe for the rest of us... 

:doh: It looks like, once again, our old favorite cartoons are politically incorrect! I guess I'll have to come up with something else... 



> JUMPING JEHOSHAPHAT
> *[Q]* _From Tom Harris_: "Is there an origin to the phrase: _Jumping Jehoshaphat_? Is it possible that it has nothing to do with the biblical Jehoshaphat? The pastor at a local church challenged the congregation to find the origin of the phrase. I remembered your Web site."
> *[A]* Support your local pastor. On consulting the _Oxford English Dictionary_ and the _Random House Historical Dictionary of American Slang_, it seems clear that the name of the king of Judah (which also occurs in several other spellings, most commonly _Jehosaphat_) was used in the United States around the middle of the nineteenth century as a mild oath, a euphemism for _Jehovah_ or _Jesus_. The phrase _Jumping Jehoshaphat_ is first recorded from Mayne Reid's _Headless Horseman_ of 1866, but is probably older. It seems to have been in the tradition of exotic imprecations that Americans of that period were so fond of, with the repeated initial sound greatly helping its acceptance.


http://www.worldwidewords.org/qa/qa-jum2.htm


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## logicalscott (Jun 29, 2006)

I can ignore the use of JC...afterall, you're the one going to hell, not me.....but I find it really tacky to ridicule your own father all over the internet.


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## Scott ZHP (Jul 17, 2003)

650iOzBoy said:


> What would the devil himself drive?


Probably a Fiat. And it would be fitting. :rofl:


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## Rob325_in_AZ (Oct 22, 2004)

logicalscott said:


> I can ignore the use of JC...*afterall, you're the one going to hell, not me*.....but I find it really tacky to ridicule your own father all over the internet.


While I agree with your sentiments regarding his Dad, I must ask, with all due respect, who appointed you judge/jury/executioner regarding sending people to Heaven or Hell?


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## obmd1 (Jan 17, 2005)

*Not for nothing... but we're stretching it here*

I could not find a definition of "to use to lord's name in vane", but here's one for "blashpemy"



> Blasphemy, by reason of the significance of the words with which it is expressed, may be of three kinds.
> 
> It is heretical when the insult to God involves a declaration that is against faith, as in the assertion: "God is cruel and unjust" or "The noblest work of man is God".
> It is imprecatory when it would cry a malediction upon the Supreme Being as when one would say: "Away with God".
> ...


from http://www.newadvent.org/cathen/02595a.htm

an exclaimation, as such, may not count....

but I'm a Jew... what do I know...:dunno: :angel:


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## avalys (Oct 14, 2003)

Again, I'm sorry if I offended anyone - I'm not religious myself, and it didn't even occur to me that people would take offense. I know I've seen that used elsewhere on this board without anyone jumping all over the poster. Regardless, I'll be more careful in the future.

And I agree that this entire topic was stupid, tacky, and inconsiderate (towards my dad, that is, though I doubt he'll ever find this - at least, I hope not). 

I posted it like ten minutes after we got back, and I was still agitated - I'm very anal about my car. I worked my ass off to buy it, and plan to keep it for another 130,000 miles (hopefully more), and let's face it - they're not exactly built like tanks, nor cheap to fix. So, sitting in it while someone else revved it to the redline in idle and dropped the clutch, with the tires screeching and the drivetrain making all kinds of horrid clunking noises, got me kind of pissed off. 

The fact that it was my dad was really incidental - I would've been just as angry (maybe moreso), and posted the same thing, had anyone else been driving. Anyway, I apologized to him a few minutes after we got back, and I think he understood.

So, thank you for all the responses, criticism included. And again, sorry to anyone I offended.


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## swchang (Oct 5, 2003)

avalys said:


> Again, I'm sorry if I offended anyone - I'm not religious myself, and it didn't even occur to me that people would take offense. I know I've seen that used elsewhere on this board without anyone jumping all over the poster. Regardless, I'll be more careful in the future.
> 
> And I agree that this entire topic was stupid, tacky, and inconsiderate (towards my dad, that is, though I doubt he'll ever find this - at least, I hope not).
> 
> ...


:thumbup:


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## 650iOzBoy (Sep 2, 2005)

avalys said:


> And I agree that this entire topic was stupid, tacky, and inconsiderate (towards my dad, that is, though I doubt he'll ever find this - at least, I hope not).
> 
> So, thank you for all the responses, criticism included. And again, sorry to anyone I offended.


No, I found this topic very amusing and entertaining. :rofl: I guess I just see the world in a lighter sense unlike those who did get "offended". :jack:


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## 01Byte (Jun 22, 2003)

650iOzBoy said:


> No, I found this topic very amusing and entertaining. :rofl: I guess I just see the world in a lighter sense unlike those who did get "offended". :jack:


:stupid:


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## ctchrinthry (Jul 17, 2006)

I thought you were going to say that jesus christ is a poor stick shift driver.

I was, like, of course, he's got those holes in his hands.

ba-da-bum.


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## racerock (Aug 2, 2006)

BayAreaBMWFan said:


> 1. If clutches were so delicate people would stop buying manual cars.
> 
> 2. The car has 70K miles. The clutch will be due for replacement soon.
> 
> ...


Well said.:thumbup:


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## samplemaven (Jul 3, 2006)

I couldn't have said it better.


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## mikepinkerton (Dec 21, 2004)

mullman said:


> Why don't people say
> ...
> Budda, you do NOT know how to drive a stick!


Duh! Of course he can drive stick! Who you think was the first to test a 10-second car?!

-Mike


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## akhbhaat (Apr 29, 2003)

650iOzBoy said:


> No, I found this topic very amusing and entertaining. :rofl: I guess I just see the world in a lighter sense unlike those who did get "offended". :jack:


Foolish man, you ought to surrender your will to the higher judgment of the moral authority!

Or you could just do what I do, and ignore them. Entertainment, indeed! :eeps:


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## logicalscott (Jun 29, 2006)

Rob325_in_AZ said:


> While I agree with your sentiments regarding his Dad, I must ask, with all due respect, who appointed you judge/jury/executioner regarding sending people to Heaven or Hell?


Obviously the same being that has cursed you to go through life without the aid of a sense of humor.


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## Bombay Jay (Mar 20, 2006)

I see him as an X5 type of guy!:thumbup:


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## Meiac09 (Jan 2, 2006)

: popcorn:


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## skwirel (Aug 29, 2006)

To all you lot complaining about this thread title, consider the following and realise:

- What free speech actually means.
- That your view does not mean every one has to believe it too.
- Anything you're offended by is your choice to be offended, doesnt faith teach you to turn the other cheek? He didnt call your mother a whore did he ? Now that would offend you, yer bible bashing ********.


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## Meiac09 (Jan 2, 2006)

skwirel said:


> To all you lot complaining about this thread title, consider the following and realise:
> 
> - What free speech actually means.
> - That your view does not mean every one has to believe it too.
> - Anything you're offended by is your choice to be offended, doesnt faith teach you to turn the other cheek? He didnt call your mother a whore did he ? Now that would offend you, yer bible bashing ********.


+1
Doesn't need viagra generation translation: Get the sand out of your vagina :rofl: :lmao:

:angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel:


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## wolf183 (Aug 30, 2006)

*welcome to the new theocratic United States*

:tsk: Avalys, stop apologizing. I find it more than a little pathetic that we are critizing nations in the Middle East for their barbaric religious extremism while the U.S. is increasingly swamped with fundamentalist nut jobs. People who react so rabidly to the use of "Jesus Christ" as an exclamation are not too far off from those bomb toting jihadists, whom we are trying to stamp out. Get a grip!

In any event, back on point (this is a car forum after all), I feel your pain. I let a friend try out my brand new 328 MT. The test drive, after multiple stalls and some unerving crunching sounds, was aborted pretty quickly. Perhaps you can find al older car on which to practice with your dad. Persuading him to give up land going yachts like your typical cadillac sounds like a worthy cause.:thumbup:


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## samplemaven (Jul 3, 2006)

skwirel said:


> To all you lot complaining about this thread title, consider the following and realise:
> 
> - What free speech actually means.
> - That your view does not mean every one has to believe it too.
> - Anything you're offended by is your choice to be offended, doesnt faith teach you to turn the other cheek? He didnt call your mother a whore did he ? Now that would offend you, yer bible bashing ********.


To me, free speech gives everyone the right to speak out about things that are on their minds...whatever that is. If someone wants to respond to something they consider offensive or disagree with, then by all means speak up! What I don't understand is why some people get so torn up by an opposing view that they are not able to respond coherently or without personal insults.

By the way, I believe we ******** would be referred to as "Bible thumpers". Take it from me...I *are* one.


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## Me530 (Feb 17, 2005)

Can this thread be moved to the Off Topic forum?


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## cwsqbm (Aug 4, 2004)

650iOzBoy said:


> What would the devil himself drive?
> 
> A VW Beetle?





BBBMW said:


> Nah, He would drive a Demon:rofl:





Scott ZHP said:


> Probably a Fiat. And it would be fitting. :rofl:


You are all wrong. He would obviously drive a Diablo.  Of course, after he gets your soul for a test drive, you spend the rest of eternity looking for parts to get your Yugo running again while you watch everyone drive their BMW's by.


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## Rob325_in_AZ (Oct 22, 2004)

logicalscott said:


> Obviously the same being that has cursed you to go through life without the aid of a sense of humor.


My bad. Didn't realize you were joking :angel:


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## Emission (Dec 19, 2001)

I changed the title of the thread - blame me. :angel: 

Though the regulars around here may have understood the context of the title, and how it was not intended to offend, many first time visitors to this site may have been a bit stupefied with the choice of words. 

For a public forum like the Fest, it is better to use the name of an archaic Disney character in vain.


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## Meiac09 (Jan 2, 2006)

You're so civil :thumbup: :rofl:


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## mdsbuc (Mar 17, 2005)

I cracked up, thinking someone had started a parody thread. :bustingup


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## Rich_Jenkins (Jul 12, 2003)

: popcorn: :rofl:


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## LA525iT (Oct 27, 2003)

As a member of the Cricketian Church, I am offended that you are using our deity's name in vain. As lord Jiminy says, "May those who use MY name in vain get butterfly larvae stuck in their rectum."


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## Emission (Dec 19, 2001)

LA525iT said:


> As a member of the Cricketian Church, I am offended that you are using our deity's name in vain. As lord Jiminy says, "May those who use MY name in vain get butterfly larvae stuck in their rectum."


You know, I thought of using Captain Crunch, but there is a big anti-pirate movement and I was concerned of backlash. Then, Barney came to mind. Of course, many of us have small children, and we can't be using their hero in vain. Jiminy always scared me as a kid... maybe I should have joined your cult to get a better understanding of the man?


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## gojira-san (Mar 1, 2004)

I don't let people drive my BMW unless I know they can drive a standard transmission. So far, exactly one other person (other than the dealer's people) has driven it.

I have taught people how to drive standard before, but usually on a Jeep, since the transmission/clutch pack is pretty solid. Back in the old days, it was easy to teach people in a VW Bug, they seemed to be able to take the abuse. In a way, it's no different from letting people drive my GTO; if all they've ever driven is a Civic, having 400hp under your right foot can be a surprise! I'd rather they worked their way up the hp chain first 



LA525iT said:


> As a member of the Cricketian Church, I am offended that you are using our deity's name in vain. As lord Jiminy says, "May those who use MY name in vain get butterfly larvae stuck in their rectum."


:rofl: :rofl:


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## dood (Jun 4, 2006)

gojira-san said:


> Back in the old days, it was easy to teach people in a VW Bug, they seemed to be able to take the abuse.


I think my dad was the only person on earth who ever made a 48hp VW Bug peel out on bone dry pavement. My poor 1976 fuelie - it was never the same again. :bawling:


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## mullman (Jan 5, 2006)

dood said:


> I think my dad was the only person on earth who ever made a 48hp VW Bug peel out on bone dry pavement. My poor 1976 fuelie - it was never the same again. :bawling:


My first car was a 1979 Beetle Conv.
I still have the window sticker here somewhere, probably 1600cc 50hp.
Spinning the tires? You could lay tire marks, but you had to do it in REVERSE 
(rear drive, rear engine)


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## dood (Jun 4, 2006)

mullman said:


> My first car was a 1979 Beetle Conv.
> I still have the window sticker here somewhere, probably 1600cc 50hp.
> Spinning the tires? You could lay tire marks, but you had to do it in REVERSE
> (rear drive, rear engine)


Mine was a 1976, fuel injected, 1600cc, 4 speed, 48hp beast. It would do 80 mph before the rear end started to get a bit skittish from lifting off the ground. A car shaped like a bulbous airplane wing - not great for speed.

You gotta love a car that gets its cabin heat from the exhaust system.

I used to do tons of work on that car. Can't quite do the same amount on the bimmer.

I wish I still had it, but I sold it for more than I bought it for at least.


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