# BMW Law



## Monty1234 (Oct 11, 2006)

Top votes go to: 
1. Judge each race objectively
2. It's acceptable to be deceptive of *your *age when driving the Bimmer
3. Rice goes with chicken, not BMW's.


----------



## Monty1234 (Oct 11, 2006)

excellent contriution Ms. Ketsup (Catsup)


----------



## SWISS (Apr 3, 2005)

BMW335i said:


> BMW Law : Never use 87 octane, or 89 for that matter.
> BMW Law : Never smoke in your BMW.
> BMW Law : Judge each race objectively, i.e. do not race a Chevy Aveo if you have an M5 and do not race a Z06 if you have a 325.


:rofl:
I break that law daily! I got spanked by a S2000 the other day, and had a WRX pissed he couldn't pass me before the lanes merged. :thumbup:


----------



## BMW335i (Oct 20, 2006)

SWISS said:


> :rofl:
> I break that law daily! I got spanked by a S2000 the other day, and had a WRX pissed he couldn't pass me before the lanes merged. :thumbup:


Hmm, what the S2000 modded? They aren't terribly fast just REALLY light.


----------



## Tangent (Jan 18, 2004)

BMW Law: Thou shalt take him in the twisties.


----------



## ketchup (Jan 14, 2005)

Monty1234 said:


> excellent contriution Ms. Ketsup (Catsup)


I'm a guy!!!


----------



## Leslierc (Sep 6, 2006)

*BMW Law: No Spinners*

Not ever!


----------



## VCOUI (Jun 17, 2006)

BMW Law: If you overtake or choose the fast lane, never hold anyone up.

...and, if some JackArse comes up on you doing a brazillion MPH, give way and let them run interference.


----------



## NateXTR (Aug 8, 2006)

BMW LAW 37-1: Thou shall not install switches, gauges or drill holes in any street-legal car. BMW LAW 37-2: Thou shall not "upgrade" to cabon fiber anything on any car that does not see track time. Yes, this includes and is not limited to dash boards.


----------



## AW328i (Aug 14, 2006)

Bmw Law: Driving in the rain does not constitute getting a car wash!


----------



## BMW335i (Oct 20, 2006)

BMW Law: Respect/acknowledge thy fellow BMW brethren.


----------



## SKT174 (Jul 16, 2004)

BMW LAW : NEVER EVER compare the reliability or the maintence cost to a Jappa.


----------



## IzzyX5 (Aug 28, 2006)

Dont just drive from point A to point B, make it a point that you must take the long way.]

I love driving my X....

IzzyX5


----------



## AzNMpower32 (Oct 23, 2005)

Thou shalt not hang tacky items from the rearview mirror, including but not limited to fuzzy dice.


----------



## spots (Apr 11, 2006)

BMW Law:

BMW's are never have stupid loud booming base unless the owner wants to be viewed as the useless tool he/she actually is.

Brake dust must be washed/cleaned from rims on a regular basis.


----------



## mdsbuc (Mar 17, 2005)

Tangent said:


> BMW Law: Thou shalt take him in the twisties.


I second that motion. :thumbup:


----------



## lex89 (Oct 27, 2005)

A Beemer is a bike, not a car.


----------



## n3rd (May 17, 2006)

BillP said:


> > BMW LAW: We shall seek power and performance no matter what the cost.
> 
> Says the guy with a 6-banger.
> 
> Bill


Says the guy with an automatic.


----------



## cwsqbm (Aug 4, 2004)

BMW335i said:


> BMW Law : Never use 87 octane, or 89 for that matter.


Exceptions need be made for older lower compression models. My E30 is happy with 87 octane.

Oh, and the tire brands don't match front to rear. 



n3rd said:


> Says the guy with an automatic.


:stupid: Clive Owen didn't drive any slushies. Even the 7 series and X5 from BMW Films were manuals.


----------



## AzNMpower32 (Oct 23, 2005)

cwsqbm said:


> Clive Owen didn't drive any slushies. Even the 7 series and X5 from BMW Films were manuals.


Nah, his 740i in "Ambush" was definately automatic. The X5 was a manual though.


----------



## cwsqbm (Aug 4, 2004)

AzNMpower32 said:


> Nah, his 740i in "Ambush" was definately automatic. The X5 was a manual though.


My bad; he shifted the automatic manually (must have been dreaming of a manual ) and I couldn't see the shifter until I froze the image at the right spot.


----------



## ketchup (Jan 14, 2005)

BMW Law : We shall atleast watch one of BMW Film's.

BMW Law : Oil shall be changed twice as much as the suggested BMW intervals.


----------



## Reload (Jun 27, 2006)

*What is your point?*



cwsqbm said:


> Exceptions need be made for older lower compression models. My E30 is happy with 87 octane.
> 
> Oh, and the tire brands don't match front to rear.
> 
> You say that like its a good thing.


----------



## Bubbz3 (Aug 28, 2006)

BMW Law: The sport of Drifting shall be known as the least manly sport involving a vehicle. It is essentially Figure Skating. :rofl:


----------



## cwsqbm (Aug 4, 2004)

Reload said:


> cwsqbm said:
> 
> 
> > Exceptions need be made for older lower compression models. My E30 is happy with 87 octane.
> ...


No, I say it because my E30 is currently my winter beater and I'm not wasting money on four new tires when only two rears needed replacement. Only a careful observer would realize the fronts are different from the rear, and not many people stop to look at my bottlecaps.


----------



## jtf5128 (Aug 1, 2006)

AzNMpower32 said:


> Thou shalt not hang tacky items from the rearview mirror, including but not limited to fuzzy dice.


hey wait a minute!


----------



## Z4luvr (Jun 23, 2006)

BMW Law - Thou shalt not repaint your bimmer any color not originally offered by BMW, particularly pink, lavender, lime green or other ridiculous colors.


----------



## PNoob (Oct 10, 2006)

jtf5128 said:


> hey wait a minute!


i have pink fuzzy dice.
i enjoy them


----------



## PNoob (Oct 10, 2006)

SWISS said:


> :rofl:
> I break that law daily! I got spanked by a S2000 the other day, and had a WRX pissed he couldn't pass me before the lanes merged. :thumbup:


swiss, that avatar is priceless
:rofl:


----------



## Vornado (Feb 20, 2006)

BMW Law: Wheels (or rims for those newer owners) shall not be larger than 19" under ANY circumstances, or your title will drop from "classy" to "ghetto." Spinner or ricer wheels will be punishible by no less than 3 full repeats of Clay Aiken's Christmas CD.


----------



## NateXTR (Aug 8, 2006)

MrTex said:


> BMW Law: Wheels (or rims for those newer owners) shall not be larger than 19" under ANY circumstances, or your title will drop from "classy" to "ghetto." Spinner or ricer wheels will be punishible by no less than 3 full repeats of Clay Aiken's Christmas CD.


While I wholeheartedly agree with you, don't you think that Capital Punishment is a little over the top? I mean, Clay Aiken? You just want to discourage the use of 20" wheels and spinners, not have the offending person commit suicide. BTW, I have a vision of hell, I am strapped to a treadmill and forced to listen to that crap 23 hours a day. Why not 24? because even the devil isn't that mean!


----------



## Vornado (Feb 20, 2006)

NateXTR said:


> While I wholeheartedly agree with you, don't you think that Capital Punishment is a little over the top? I mean, Clay Aiken? You just want to discourage the use of 20" wheels and spinners, not have the offending person commit suicide. BTW, I have a vision of hell, I am strapped to a treadmill and forced to listen to that crap 23 hours a day. Why not 24? because even the devil isn't that mean!


Yeah, you're right. They should be punished more severly


----------



## Eviil30 (Aug 19, 2006)

BMW law: thou shall not install snow tires on your brand new M5 (especially when you have a 325xi)


----------



## BMW335i (Oct 20, 2006)

NateXTR said:


> While I wholeheartedly agree with you, don't you think that Capital Punishment is a little over the top? I mean, Clay Aiken? You just want to discourage the use of 20" wheels and spinners, not have the offending person commit suicide. BTW, I have a vision of hell, I am strapped to a treadmill and forced to listen to that crap 23 hours a day. Why not 24? because even the devil isn't that mean!


Rofl! I have to admit that punishment is right up there with death row...:rofl:


----------



## e60lover (Dec 28, 2005)

Brian McKinney said:


> BMW Law: save your chrome trim and badging for the cadillac deville


Sorry I disagree... I like shadowline aswell (have it on my X5) but the chrome on the 5er really adds a nice touch and brings out the coupe-like sillhoute of the homeister kink. :dunno: Whatever...Everyone has their opinion.


----------



## Clarke (Oct 21, 2002)

Hofmeister kink.


----------



## Gran Turismo (Aug 7, 2006)

e60lover said:


> Sorry I disagree... I like shadowline aswell (have it on my X5) but the chrome on the 5er really adds a nice touch and brings out the coupe-like sillhoute of the homeister kink. :dunno: Whatever...Everyone has their opinion.


:stupid: Subtle chrome around the windows has been a 'classic' BMW design element since the sixties.

I'd agree on the badges, though.


----------



## bten (Sep 22, 2002)

Z4luvr said:


> BMW Law - Thou shalt not repaint your bimmer any color not originally offered by BMW, particularly pink, lavender, lime green or other ridiculous colors.


With the execption of an urban green Z4,  that thing really should be painted British Racing Green! :thumbup:


----------



## Bimmer ese (Jan 2, 2003)

frhsfootball80 said:


> dont badge your car with M series badges.......your not fooling anyone


I agree to an extent. My type 69 wheels came with these little ///M badges. My steering wheel has an M badge too. those should be acceptable.

BMW LAW: Thall shall not use Prestone or other cheesy brand of coolant for anti-freeze.


----------



## Bmwcat (Jul 30, 2004)

BMW law: ANYTHING Ghetto is unacceptable, even if you live there!!


----------



## BHR4CE1 (Nov 11, 2006)

MrTex said:


> BMW Law: Wheels (or rims for those newer owners) shall not be larger than 19" under ANY circumstances, or your title will drop from "classy" to "ghetto." Spinner or ricer wheels will be punishible by no less than 3 full repeats of Clay Aiken's Christmas CD.


C'mon guys... what's an INCH between friends? I pick up my new M6 vert tomorrow and those OEM wheels are coming right off as soon as I get there.

The new 20" rims are sitting at the dealership as we speak; just WAITING for their new home.


----------



## e60lover (Dec 28, 2005)

Clarke said:


> Hofmeister kink.


Sorry.....Typo :tsk:


----------



## n pinson (Feb 24, 2006)

BMW Law: Thou shalt not attempt to "power brake" your BMW


----------



## bten (Sep 22, 2002)

BHR4CE1 said:


> C'mon guys... what's an INCH between friends? I pick up my new M6 vert tomorrow and those OEM wheels are coming right off as soon as I get there.
> 
> The new 20" rims are sitting at the dealership as we speak; just WAITING for their new home.


An X5 4.8is has 20" rims stock.


----------



## Vornado (Feb 20, 2006)

BHR4CE1 said:


> C'mon guys... what's an INCH between friends? I pick up my new M6 vert tomorrow and those OEM wheels are coming right off as soon as I get there.
> 
> The new 20" rims are sitting at the dealership as we speak; just WAITING for their new home.


There are few exceptions, which include stock wheels. I suppose an M6 is okay, as long as the wheels are classy, and not chrome-ishly ugly. Major example of no no:


----------



## Z3PcolaMikey (Nov 7, 2006)

BMW law - Florida suggestion.

If 2 or more BMW owners are at a bar - the guy with the newest car has to buy the first round.


----------



## cwsqbm (Aug 4, 2004)

MrTex said:


> BMW Law: Wheels (or rims for those newer owners) shall not be larger than 19" under ANY circumstances, or your title will drop from "classy" to "ghetto." Spinner or ricer wheels will be punishible by no less than 3 full repeats of Clay Aiken's Christmas CD.


This needs more clarification. 19's look ghetto on a non-M 3 series (tires are too short), yet 20's look ok on X5s and 7 series because the tire is much taller. Maybe the rule should be that the rim not be more than 75% of the tire height, or something like that.


----------



## mogulbumm (Sep 3, 2006)

BMW Law: There IS such thing as over-pimping your Bimmer. Thou shalt not use purple neon lights or trunk wings that rise above roof level.


----------



## adrian's bmw (Feb 14, 2003)

BMW Law:

If you get rear ended and you get body work done to the rear of the car, i.e. the trunk lid, *please make sure that the body shop you use puts your model designation emblem in the right place!*:banghead: It drives me NUTS when I see the "528i", "745Li", "325i" emblems in the wrong place of the trunk lid.

Call me anal, but guess what? If any savvy BMW guy looks at the rear end or is thinking about buying the car, it's an easy indication that your BMW was spanked in the behind :spank: and the body shop did a poor job or doesn't pay attention to details like where to put the emblem.


----------



## VCOUI (Jun 17, 2006)

ketchup said:


> BMW Law : Oil shall be changed twice as much as the suggested BMW intervals.


*Actually* ...There is research to support the exact opposite. [sorry, dont have the link at the moment but I'll look for it.]



MrTex said:


> There are few exceptions, which include stock wheels. I suppose an M6 is okay, as long as the wheels are classy, and not chrome-ishly ugly. Major example of no no:


/AAAAAHHH!!! My eyes!! My eyes!!! 
//Need 'Eye Bleach'!:bawling:


----------



## simp0man (Sep 3, 2006)

Pin stripes are not German, it is American. Lets not confuse domestic with imported quality.


----------



## machdw (Oct 31, 2007)

Reload said:


> It occured to me that there needs to be a posting of BMW Laws. Here is my first contribution:
> 
> BMW Law: Never put a bumper sticker on a BMW. Ever! For any reason!
> 
> Please add as you see fit.


never call a bmw a bimmer (slimmer, dimmer, trimmer, glimmer etc. pronounce these words people) i think beemer is more appropriate for us proper english usage snobs.


----------



## jvr826 (Apr 22, 2002)

machdw said:


> never call a bmw a bimmer (slimmer, dimmer, trimmer, glimmer etc. pronounce these words people) i think beemer is more appropriate for us proper english usage snobs.


http://www.boston-bmwcca.org/reference/Bimmer-Beemer.aspx

Bavarian Autosport used to have a T-Shirt that explained it, can't find it now.


----------



## Gadget29 (Sep 12, 2007)

I'm really new to BMW law. I have heard mixed reviews on Armour-All. From 'use sparingly' to 'Thou shalt not use at all'! Can some of the seasoned vets please clarify?

Thanks,
Gadget


----------



## jvr826 (Apr 22, 2002)

This is a fun and games thread, u can use whatever you like in the real world. The detail forum has lots of good info as well as links to whole sites dedicated to the subject.

I use Vinylex and/or Aeorospace 303. Less shine. Protects without the glare.

For tires, Meguires #40 tire and rubber or other non greasy/shiny stuff.


----------



## huttey (Apr 16, 2006)

BMW LAW: BMW owners must be able to spell


----------



## rwfisher (Nov 8, 2005)

spots said:


> Brake dust must be washed/cleaned from rims on a regular basis.


I'll second that one, and suggest "weekly" instead of "regular basis"


----------



## Gadget29 (Sep 12, 2007)

The dashboard area on all BMW's must remain clutter free. No dancing hula girls or bobble heads. Only a max of two strategically placed electronic devices may be allowed (ie. Sat radio and Radar detector - wires musr be completely hidden).


----------



## lild (Sep 11, 2007)

bmw law--- no man shall wear driveing gloves unless he is on the track.


----------



## tturedraider (Nov 11, 2005)

VCOUI said:


> BMW Law: If you overtake or choose the fast lane, never hold anyone up.
> 
> ...and, if some JackArse comes up on you doing a brazillion MPH, give way and let them run interference.


BMW Law: BMW drivers shall not *drive* in the passing lane. The shall use the passing lane for its intended use - PASSING. If a BMW driver is not actively passing he or she shall move from the passing lane. Any BMW driver caught *driving* in the passing lane shall be required to immediately and forever surrender ownership of their BMW, never to be allowed to own another. Any BMW driver who *drives* in the passing lane and *refuses* to yield to those legitimately entitled to be in the passing lane (that would be those actually passing) shall be flogged and then shot....and then flogged again....publicly!


----------



## germanblood (Aug 12, 2005)

BMW LAW: If anyone claims you are a snobby, stuck-up, label whore for driving a Beemer, then take him\her for a ride through your favorite twisty road and teach him\her the meaning of "car sick!":drive:


----------



## uncle ken (Feb 3, 2007)

BMW Law: 'Lifetime Fluids' ain't.

BMW Law: Help Save An Endangered Species: Buy A Manual Transmission Today!


----------



## VCOUI (Jun 17, 2006)

germanblood said:


> BMW LAW: If anyone claims you are a snobby, stuck-up, label whore for driving a Beemer, then take him\her for a ride through your favorite twisty road and teach him\her the meaning of "car sick!":drive:


+5!
On a side note, I've had people ask me why BMW drivers, "...drive like a$$holes, always darting in and out of traffic"

I tell them, "It's because they can!" :angel:



uncle ken said:


> BMW Law: Help Save An Endangered Species: Buy A Manual Transmission Today!


Amen to that brother! :thumbup:


----------



## Irish Paul (Jan 14, 2007)

BMW Law: Upon purchase of a nice 7 series, you must immediately put the largest, most ghetto wheels possible on it (even though you are a white doctor), destroying how your car looks, rides, and making you look like a complete and utter idiot.
You will then post photos of your abomination on the net so other idiots can tell you how 'phat' your car is.


----------



## germanblood (Aug 12, 2005)

:


Irish Paul said:


> BMW Law: Upon purchase of a nice 7 series, you must immediately put the largest, most ghetto wheels possible on it (even though you are a white doctor), destroying how your car looks, rides, and making you look like a complete and utter idiot.
> You will then post photos of your abomination on the net so other idiots can tell you how 'phat' your car is.


:rofl::rofl:


----------



## CleanAzzE30z (Apr 2, 2003)

uncle ken said:


> BMW Law: 'Lifetime Fluids' ain't.
> 
> BMW Law: Help Save An Endangered Species: Buy A Manual Transmission Today!


I like the way you think.

Mariano


----------



## FlyerLen (Nov 26, 2007)

*Hang up and drive!*



VCOUI said:


> On a side note, I've had people ask me why BMW drivers, "...drive like a$$holes, always darting in and out of traffic"


I tell them, because we're trying to get around you cell-phone talking, latte-drinking, soccer mom A-holes! Like the OLD commercial used to say, "A BMW allows those who take driving seriously to peacefully co-exist with those who don't."


----------



## Vornado (Feb 20, 2006)

Irish Paul said:


> BMW Law: Upon purchase of a nice 7 series, you must immediately put the largest, most ghetto wheels possible on it (even though you are a white doctor), destroying how your car looks, rides, and making you look like a complete and utter idiot.
> You will then post photos of your abomination on the net so other idiots can tell you how 'phat' your car is.


Been browsing the 7 forum, have we? :rofl:


----------



## tturedraider (Nov 11, 2005)

FlyerLen said:


> I tell them, because we're trying to get around you cell-phone talking, latte-drinking, soccer mom A-holes! Like the OLD commercial used to say, "A BMW allows those who take driving seriously to peacefully co-exist with those who don't."


+1


----------



## big brother (Dec 8, 2007)

find a product called BUFFALO MILK its the only thing I'll use IT DOES EVERYTHIG!!!!! and it's 1000 per cent safe TRUST MEE!!!!


----------



## big brother (Dec 8, 2007)

BMW LAW ,no matter how bad life's got you by the short hairs,you still got your e34


----------



## joe01740il (Dec 11, 2007)

SKT174 said:


> BMW LAW : NEVER EVER compare the reliability or the maintence cost to a Jappa.


Amen!!!


----------



## civic34 (Nov 6, 2007)

Irish Paul said:


> BMW Law: Upon purchase of a nice 7 series, you must immediately put the largest, most ghetto wheels possible on it (even though you are a white doctor), destroying how your car looks, rides, and making you look like a complete and utter idiot.
> You will then post photos of your abomination on the net so other idiots can tell you how 'phat' your car is.


:rofl::rofl:Check out my 22's DAWG!:rofl::rofl:


----------



## mawana (Nov 15, 2006)

Bmwcat said:


> BMW law: ANYTHING Ghetto is unacceptable, even if you live there!!


:eeps:


----------



## Motown328 (Jun 4, 2003)

Law: Avoid buying a pre-owned BMW from any dealership that lists it having a "V6" in its description.


----------

